One uncomfortable yet all-powerful chair might be what stands between Jesse and the cataclysm. The Preacher’s time in the afterlife continued to be literal Hell, but Jesse remained true to his convictions. Even with a tube of ants up his butt. And he might not be the only one. Extended time with Humperdoo might’ve pushed their cold hearts a bit closer to the flame. But God’s will isn’t getting any easier to stop. Even if Starr keeps falling apart.
Rock Bottom
If a dingo running off with his penis wasn’t enough, Starr finds himself under the care of some Outback boys after being left for dead. The boys fashion him a makeshift penis from a faucet and before cutting off and feeding him his own leg. Lara saves her one-legged Allfather, but the loss of the messiah and his mounting disfigurements cause him to lose hope. He tries to hang himself with a sash, but he can’t even do that correctly. The sash slips and catches on his nipple clamps, ripping his nipples off as he crashes to the floor. But God finally offers him an olive branch. Starr should’ve just asked God for Humperdoo’s location. It’s time to bring the Lord’s favorite boy home.
To The Moon
That would probably be perfectly fine with Tulip and Cassidy. The two hole up with Humperdoo, promising not to move until God showed to watch Humperdoo die. But God’s kind of busy, leaving the three of them alone for three months. Turns out that’s just enough time for Cassidy to take a liking to the young man. They still keep a bomb vest strapped to the messiah at all times, but there’s some affection brewing between the three.
But the Grail’s arrival threatens all of that. Lara and Starr retrieve Humperdoo after subduing Tulip and Cassidy. Tulip does have a chance to detonate the bomb but relents. She can’t kill him. No, instead, she and Cassidy have to get him back. Starr won’t give him up easily though. Especially after God restores his beauty. The apocalypse now has an air date.
One Last Temptation
Jesse continues to deny Fiore’s request that he set up shop on God’s throne. Fiore responds to his defiance with a litany of bodily tortures. Ants, rats and flames take their turns until the Saint of Killers arrives to bust him out of Hell. But even this turns out to be a torture. Fiore grows impatient and orders his legion to force Jesse onto the throne. But Jesse is resurrected by God at the last second.
God meets Jesse in the Outback soon after he crawls from under the sand. Jesse is ecstatic to see him, boasting about refusing the throne. He passed the test. Well, not quite. According to God, Jesse came close. Failing due to temptation eats at Jesse. It’s a test no one was meant to pass. God responds by biting Jesse’s eye out. Jesse’s only option is to reunite with Tulip and Cassidy at the Holy Grail hotel and save the world from God’s wrath.
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